Remembering my friend, Andy DeLong today...

My favorite joke whenever I saw Andy was “ah…Andy…the brother I never wanted“. He tortured me at any given opportunity. For instance: I had just gotten my new car, first car I ever bought on my own. I was driving down the road not so long after buying it, and kept getting honked at by other drivers. I thought “man, I look better in this car than I thought!”. Sadly, no - I caught a glimpse in my review mirror finally of the bumper sticker Andy had placed on the back window that said “Honk if you love Barry Manilow”. I retaliated, of course, by putting an entire deck of cards inside his gas tank door, so that when he opened it they would all fall out. But I have to admit, it wasn’t as good as that bumper sticker. Once, Andy was running down the hall at RE/MAX to get a call in his office that I was passing from the switchboard,. As he ran by I yelled after him “Run, Forrest, Ruuuun”…to which , he just collapsed laughing in the hall, sort of “hawing” as he did when he laughed, and breathed “put it to voice mail, just put it to voice mail”. He was always better than me at these exchanges we used to have - he used to make fun of my name, which was Tammy Jo Bradley (at the time)…now, if you’ve ever seen a show called “Petticoat Junction” you know that all the girls on the show were named “________ Jo Bradley”…so he would see me and sing “There’s a little hotel called the Shady Rest at the Junction”…and I would make fun of his name play in his advertising saying “DeLong way is dorkier and thiftier with a dollar”. He called pregnancy my “fat stage”. And I would say, “well my belly will go away, but your feet will always be that abnormally large“. Once, he couldn’t think of a comeback to me, and said “well…your Mama!”, and then stopped and said “no wait…I like your Mama”. Everything was so genuine with him…his faith was real, his joy was real, his emotions were real. Ben and I got to see him a couple of weeks before he passed. There’ve been some tough times in real estate here over the last year and a half or so, and we were lamenting on the beginnings of the downward turn. Andy walked to Ben, put his hand on his shoulder and said “Don’t worry, Ben. I’ve prayed about it…I know you may not believe the way I do, but I know - we’ve done this right. WE are going to make it through all this.” Never, ever, in all the teasing or torment did he ever put me down, never ever did I feel offended or that it was in bad nature. So the truth is he is exactly the brother I wanted. And he was the friend that I had, and I am so much better for it. I miss him, and am thinking of his wonderful family today.

Putting the Racist Thrift Store Shopper In His Place

OK, so I'm out with the baby, in a local ministry thrift store, the profits of which I assume, go to help fund the ministry. Found some old Tupperware (which I love), and was waiting at the checkout behind this enormous guy. He was about 6ft. 4, and had a booming voice and a motorcycle helmet. On the shelf directly behind us, the store had about five miniature Barack Obama dolls for sale, I guess left over from elections, or just "collectibles" donated by someone. The first time he said "Man, those are just about the right size to hang in a noose from my windshield". The poor girl behind the counter kind of stammered and gave him his total for his purchase. Then he said it again. And then something similar a third time, trying to get some kind of reaction from her. She didn't say anything.

So I did.

I said, "Excuse me, its pretty clear you keep repeating that to get some kind of response, so let me give you one. First, would you have even used the word 'noose' if Barack Obama were not black? Second, you're talking about doing something that depicts the murdering of the President of the United States, which I think is a pretty bad thing to say out loud in a public place. Third, this is a ministry thrift store...basically an extension of the hand of Jesus Christ to the less fortunate among us. I personally find it offensive that you would talk about reveling in someone's death so easily, especially in this place, and I'm pretty sure the ministry that runs it wouldn't want any talk like that in this establishment. Last, I just came here to shop, and frankly, I don't care what your opinion of him is...like him, don't like him...keep it to yourself." He replied "I just don't like the guy". I said - "Hey, man, that's fine - you're perfectly entitled to whatever opinion you have - but when you talk about lynching someone in public, that's a little too much, making everyone around you uncomfortable with that kind of talk isn't right". He said "I wasn't trying to cause a scene". I said "No problem, man, its not a scene. I just think you gotta keep those kind of opinions to yourself when you're in a place like this". He said "Well, you guys have a good afternoon", and I replied "You too - have a nice day". And he left. Poor girl behind the counter...she said to me after he left "wow, I just didn't know what to say to him when he said that". And I said "Hey, its OK, I think I said the right things, maybe he'll think about it".

I suspect that because I was holding a really cute little baby girl, and didn't raise my voice at all, he didn't rail on me. Maybe he didn't have a gun on him, or just maybe my words got through to him a little bit. For those of you about ready to pounce on me for politics, there was absolutely nothing political about what he said, and nothing political about my response to him. Let's face it: if John McCain had won the presidency, and done the exact same things Barack Obama has done, no one - not a single American - would talk about lynching him. This guy's comments were 100% racial and nothing else.

The absolute fact is that whatever you think of this President, no one has the right to threaten him with the same kind of treatment given to "bad" slaves and black men and women in the 60's...this is the year 2010, people. We have an African American President, and whether you voted for him or not, he won, and is the leader of the most powerful country in the free world. Can we dispense with the veiled references to the color of his skin and show the man at least that respect?

Is it really that hard?

Is it really that hard to:
....just let someone go in front of you in the grocery store line?
....tell someone that you like their shoes?
....smile at the person stopped next to you at the red light?
....have some cookie dough around just in case your kid wants to help make some?
....plan ahead what happens after the kids go to bed?
....take the garbage out without being asked?
....take some old clothes and toys to Goodwill?
....set aside $50 per month to give away or put in your kid(s) college account?
....read a newspaper so you can know what's going on in the world?
....think about what will happen if you say or do what you're about to say or do?
....make someone else laugh?
....talk about your Grandparents?
....make funny faces?
....stop and look at the sky?

Each day presents an opportunity to live and do things like this. Chances are if the universe is giving you the message, you need to heed it. Instead of getting lost in the hustle and bustle and general crapitude of what you might consider your life, do one thing - just one thing - like this, and it will make all the difference in the world. At least for the day.