I'll admit it - I Facebook crawl sometimes...late at night, when Ben is out with the boys, I'll troll through some folks' pages and walls, checking out their latest status updates. And I noticed something that was interesting to me - a lot of the folks I am friends with change their "statuses" more than once a day. Not that I'm not guilty of that too...I will do that when something happens. More when I was at home during the day and "The View" came on - *whip!* to the Computer! - hardly at all now that I am back to work. But some of the status changes by my friends were, like, life-altered states - serious stuff, happening multiple times a day, and out there on Facebook...every emotion, every dilemma, every happiness - questioning themselves and their confidence and their being in most any situation. And people respond to it - friends from years ago chime in with the most awesome advice - and it helps...the status-changer comes out of it at the end with some momentum and clarity. Reaching out to mutual benefit. Its good. But it made me feel inert...like nothing was happening to me, since I wasn't changing my status a lot during the course of a day, and tapping into friend resources to help solve the issues at hand. I have crazy kids. Insane pet moments. I have a whirlwind blood pressure cycle. Kooky extended family members - check! My Mom is still - my Mom. Why don't I do this too??
Because I'm "statusfied".
Yep. I have a great, amazing life that I am perfectly happy with, even if it's not perfect in any way, shape or form. Don't have to re-evaluate because I wasn't the best Mommy today. No need to question myself because I *technically* am not using my college degree. My day is my day, and I'm happy and proud to be in it, because I created it - I asked for every bit of this life; shaped myself around it, and wallow in it as much as I dance around it.
I don't want to sound arrogant...I'm not braggin'...the circumstances of my life are by no means something everyone should aspire to recreate for themselves. At 40, I'm just OK with it. I'm not overly ambitious career-wise anymore. I've accepted that my hair isn't awesome. Ben is my soulmate, and I'm with him probably until one of us buries the other in the back yard (hopefully from natural causes). I'm not competitive with other Moms. I'm just fine with where I'm at, and I make the best of what I've dealt myself from the bottom of the deck. I'm owning it. Whatever I've got, whatever I've been given to deal with - I jump on it and in it and I'm proud that I am **OK**. Not perfect. Not ideal. OK.
"Statusfied". Anyone know who to contact about getting that one in the dictionary? Ha! Guess I spoke to soon about being ambitious...oh well...I'll save that for another day.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I Blame Robert Pattinson
Recently, a friend of mine, at her 10 year olds' insistence, went and popped some money on a suit for him. A full-on real suit. Just to be funny, my response (via Facebook, of course) was "I blame Robert Pattinson". And it got a few laughs, which was the point...or was it? No...I now assert that there are many, many things to blame Robert Pattinson for.
Disaffected staring: All teens have blank stares. You did. I did. But teen dudes now...holy cow. I have never witnessed more blankness than that of a 15-17 year old boy's stare. At nothing in general. Wispy drones, looking beyond what they are actually looking at...like every single scene in "Twilight". What the hell is that?? Granted...I am not a fan of the "Twilight" "saga" (yechhh - I can't even type that with a straight face). I'm more of an "Interview with the Vampire" girl myself, but who are those people? I know that vampires are supposed to be, you know, soul-less, but the other characters - who aren't vampires - too? I'm stunned by the vapid emptiness in that whole deal. Like they care so much they act like they don't care. It all makes me feel very creepy watching it. Yesssss, I watched it. Late one night, when there wasn't anything else on. Noooooo, I haven't read the books ("The books are soooo much better, sooo much better..."). Yeah. OK. Not reading the books. Robert Pattinson is not my idea of "sexy", or "attractive"...or "talented", just because he's got a blank stare in him. He's just the one with the better car.
Whispery longing soliloquys: No 17 year old dude is gonna talk like that. And if you try to emulate it, you're gonna get put in a locker. If you are NOT a vampire, you just can't pull that off, so don't try. If even the best looking of the 17 year old dudes had even opened his mouth spouting that garbage when I was 17, he would have gotten pommelled by the entire 2nd period weightlifting class. And I would not have fallen for it. Any of you guys out there want the smart girl - which incidentally, still remains the best decision for your future you might ever make - talk like a normal guy. Compliments. Not wispy whispering longings "Bella...you're my forever". Yeah. Whatever, Dudepire. Impress me by quoting Prince. Make me laugh, not throw myself off a cliff (yeah, the chick tries to do that in the 2nd movie). Look like you've read a friggin' book that doesn't have pictures. I blame Robert Pattinson for every stupid breathy movie scene by teenagers we will have to witness from here on - and possibly mis-directed cliff diving.
Shirtless posters in WalMart: Really? Shirtless posters? Even Andy Gibb didn't do a shirtless poster. And what pre-teen or recently-teen's mom lets them have a SHIRTLESS poster? Oversexualized...his character is SUPPOSED to be a JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL. I am not stupid - I know kids in High School are sexually aware - but there's 11, 12, 13, 14 year old GIRLS (and maybe some guys) lookin' at that too. I just don't need to see a gaggle of them gathered around the poster kiosk at WalMart, talking about his nipples. Really. I do NOT need to see that.
All other future Vampire movies: Too bad, too. I hear there's a remake of Dracula coming...let's hope they don't have him as a lusty teen...because that would be bad. And vampires ARE...they are BAD. Vampires = BAD. No amount of lipstick and hair gel should really remove that message. It's too bad, too, because vampires make for great stories! But now, sadly, they will all end up being 17 forever. And mad about it. Bor-ing.
But most of all, I blame Robert Pattinson for becoming - Robert Pattinson. From what I can gather, if he'd not been perpetually sterotyped as a teen lusty vampire, he might have had a chance to do something else in his life that didn't mention the word "Twilight"...but now...he's got no one to blame for the awfulness of his career but himself. He'll be typecast as the "wistful teen dude", and his name will always be followed by (Edward, "Twilight"). I hope they all hold it together, actually, those kids. Even the werewolf one...he seems a little dim...let's hold out a little extra hope for him.
So, now, whenever you see some 17 year old, shuffling his feet, and looking beyond you when he's talking to you, and has maybe a little too much hair gel and pouty lips (that might be a little too red), and whispers all the time, you, too will blame Robert Pattinson. Whenever you see yet ANOTHER teen vampire rip-off movie, you, too, will blame Robert Pattinson. We all have to suffer now because of Robert Pattinson. It's all his fault.
Disaffected staring: All teens have blank stares. You did. I did. But teen dudes now...holy cow. I have never witnessed more blankness than that of a 15-17 year old boy's stare. At nothing in general. Wispy drones, looking beyond what they are actually looking at...like every single scene in "Twilight". What the hell is that?? Granted...I am not a fan of the "Twilight" "saga" (yechhh - I can't even type that with a straight face). I'm more of an "Interview with the Vampire" girl myself, but who are those people? I know that vampires are supposed to be, you know, soul-less, but the other characters - who aren't vampires - too? I'm stunned by the vapid emptiness in that whole deal. Like they care so much they act like they don't care. It all makes me feel very creepy watching it. Yesssss, I watched it. Late one night, when there wasn't anything else on. Noooooo, I haven't read the books ("The books are soooo much better, sooo much better..."). Yeah. OK. Not reading the books. Robert Pattinson is not my idea of "sexy", or "attractive"...or "talented", just because he's got a blank stare in him. He's just the one with the better car.
Whispery longing soliloquys: No 17 year old dude is gonna talk like that. And if you try to emulate it, you're gonna get put in a locker. If you are NOT a vampire, you just can't pull that off, so don't try. If even the best looking of the 17 year old dudes had even opened his mouth spouting that garbage when I was 17, he would have gotten pommelled by the entire 2nd period weightlifting class. And I would not have fallen for it. Any of you guys out there want the smart girl - which incidentally, still remains the best decision for your future you might ever make - talk like a normal guy. Compliments. Not wispy whispering longings "Bella...you're my forever". Yeah. Whatever, Dudepire. Impress me by quoting Prince. Make me laugh, not throw myself off a cliff (yeah, the chick tries to do that in the 2nd movie). Look like you've read a friggin' book that doesn't have pictures. I blame Robert Pattinson for every stupid breathy movie scene by teenagers we will have to witness from here on - and possibly mis-directed cliff diving.
Shirtless posters in WalMart: Really? Shirtless posters? Even Andy Gibb didn't do a shirtless poster. And what pre-teen or recently-teen's mom lets them have a SHIRTLESS poster? Oversexualized...his character is SUPPOSED to be a JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL. I am not stupid - I know kids in High School are sexually aware - but there's 11, 12, 13, 14 year old GIRLS (and maybe some guys) lookin' at that too. I just don't need to see a gaggle of them gathered around the poster kiosk at WalMart, talking about his nipples. Really. I do NOT need to see that.
All other future Vampire movies: Too bad, too. I hear there's a remake of Dracula coming...let's hope they don't have him as a lusty teen...because that would be bad. And vampires ARE...they are BAD. Vampires = BAD. No amount of lipstick and hair gel should really remove that message. It's too bad, too, because vampires make for great stories! But now, sadly, they will all end up being 17 forever. And mad about it. Bor-ing.
But most of all, I blame Robert Pattinson for becoming - Robert Pattinson. From what I can gather, if he'd not been perpetually sterotyped as a teen lusty vampire, he might have had a chance to do something else in his life that didn't mention the word "Twilight"...but now...he's got no one to blame for the awfulness of his career but himself. He'll be typecast as the "wistful teen dude", and his name will always be followed by (Edward, "Twilight"). I hope they all hold it together, actually, those kids. Even the werewolf one...he seems a little dim...let's hold out a little extra hope for him.
So, now, whenever you see some 17 year old, shuffling his feet, and looking beyond you when he's talking to you, and has maybe a little too much hair gel and pouty lips (that might be a little too red), and whispers all the time, you, too will blame Robert Pattinson. Whenever you see yet ANOTHER teen vampire rip-off movie, you, too, will blame Robert Pattinson. We all have to suffer now because of Robert Pattinson. It's all his fault.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Opportunities, or stark realizations of Aging Ungracefully?
I have suddenly come to the stark realization that I am almost 40. And I totally get how you might get the wrong idea about my stating that...I suppose that most women, when they come around to their own midlife crises (per se), say that with some amount of displeasure about their appearance - and start complaining about "crow's feet", or point to body parts and breathlessly whine "how did this happen to me???" But that's not what I mean...not that I don't have crow's feet (I certainly do), and have a little sagging here and there (I'll just keep those locations to myself). What I mean is that I am now sure that I am "emotionally" almost 40. I'm losing my youthful exuberance about certain things that I thought I would always get excited about.
A few things lately have come to light that, in the past, I would have considered opportunities. The one in particular that has inspired this little rant - the chance to get back on the air at a radio station. Why am I not completely enamoured by that?! Is it the minimum wage pay scale? Nah, being a DJ was never a money-maker. Is it that there is literally no contact with the public, because you go in now and record everything ahead of time digitally (just in case you don't know - the guy you're listening to - at that moment - isn't really sitting in a booth anymore, talking to you...he recorded himself two days ago, and he wasn't talking to you when he did - so, when you think that song that just came on "came on" at just the right time to pick you up symbolically, it didn't - it was going to be on at that time, and it was planned several months in advance). So, I'm in front of this microphone, and its all very mechanical. And easy. And unfathomably boring. And I suddenly start thinking of 10 reasons to not do it. Am I past my prime? Nope...my voice is probably better than its ever been. Physically, can I operate the equipment? Doesn't intimidate me at all, even though I've never used it. So it's gotta be emotional, right? Oh yeah.
Why do I not want to get back on the air?
I keep thinking of this line from "The Wedding Singer"...I know, don't start - I'm just trying to make a point:
"I'm not in love with Robbie, now. I'm in love with Robbie, six years ago. Robbie, the lead singer of Final Warning; I used to come watch you when you were in your silk shirt and Spandex pants, and you would sing into the microphone like you were David Lee Roth."
That's really it - I'm in love with radio 10 years ago. Before I had a family that I'm sorta finding solace with in all this. Before I had 3 businesses to run. The radio I used to go to and play David Lee Roth, instead of Taylor Swift. When it actually required talent, and wasn't so easy a monkey could do it. I guess they figure you can buy plenty of bananas with $7.25 per hour.
So I guess I've grown past it. Or maybe it grew past me. Either way, I'm disenchanted with something I always thought would excite me. I still like toys (I can still solve my Rubik's Cube), and I can still squat long enough to "catch" a softball game if I wanted to. I will still watch "Footloose" if its on. I guess I'll just have to put this in the category with Don Johnson gaining 60 pounds and refusing to do a Miami Vice reunion show.
I'm supposed to go there tomorrow, and do some test recording. Maybe it will snow...how symbolic...the winter of my life. If this sounds all melancholy, I really don't intend it to be; I'm actually kinda content with the turn of events. I like being a grown up. I love my life now more than ever. I can still be interesting and not know when Ke$ha's new album is dropping.
Now, though, it's time to go pick up my kid from school, do some 2nd grade math homework and figure out what's for dinner.
I think I'll make some Ramen Noodles and Macaroni and Cheese, just to give my youth a proper send-off.
A few things lately have come to light that, in the past, I would have considered opportunities. The one in particular that has inspired this little rant - the chance to get back on the air at a radio station. Why am I not completely enamoured by that?! Is it the minimum wage pay scale? Nah, being a DJ was never a money-maker. Is it that there is literally no contact with the public, because you go in now and record everything ahead of time digitally (just in case you don't know - the guy you're listening to - at that moment - isn't really sitting in a booth anymore, talking to you...he recorded himself two days ago, and he wasn't talking to you when he did - so, when you think that song that just came on "came on" at just the right time to pick you up symbolically, it didn't - it was going to be on at that time, and it was planned several months in advance). So, I'm in front of this microphone, and its all very mechanical. And easy. And unfathomably boring. And I suddenly start thinking of 10 reasons to not do it. Am I past my prime? Nope...my voice is probably better than its ever been. Physically, can I operate the equipment? Doesn't intimidate me at all, even though I've never used it. So it's gotta be emotional, right? Oh yeah.
Why do I not want to get back on the air?
I keep thinking of this line from "The Wedding Singer"...I know, don't start - I'm just trying to make a point:
"I'm not in love with Robbie, now. I'm in love with Robbie, six years ago. Robbie, the lead singer of Final Warning; I used to come watch you when you were in your silk shirt and Spandex pants, and you would sing into the microphone like you were David Lee Roth."
That's really it - I'm in love with radio 10 years ago. Before I had a family that I'm sorta finding solace with in all this. Before I had 3 businesses to run. The radio I used to go to and play David Lee Roth, instead of Taylor Swift. When it actually required talent, and wasn't so easy a monkey could do it. I guess they figure you can buy plenty of bananas with $7.25 per hour.
So I guess I've grown past it. Or maybe it grew past me. Either way, I'm disenchanted with something I always thought would excite me. I still like toys (I can still solve my Rubik's Cube), and I can still squat long enough to "catch" a softball game if I wanted to. I will still watch "Footloose" if its on. I guess I'll just have to put this in the category with Don Johnson gaining 60 pounds and refusing to do a Miami Vice reunion show.
I'm supposed to go there tomorrow, and do some test recording. Maybe it will snow...how symbolic...the winter of my life. If this sounds all melancholy, I really don't intend it to be; I'm actually kinda content with the turn of events. I like being a grown up. I love my life now more than ever. I can still be interesting and not know when Ke$ha's new album is dropping.
Now, though, it's time to go pick up my kid from school, do some 2nd grade math homework and figure out what's for dinner.
I think I'll make some Ramen Noodles and Macaroni and Cheese, just to give my youth a proper send-off.
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