"Where are you from again?" That's what she asked me. I can't even remember her name - which is really funny, because we used to joke that eventually, in the business, someone would forget her name when she thought she'd made more of an impression and say "Oh, YOU! How are...you...?" She honestly didn't know what I was singing...and as a matter of fact, a lot of them didn't. OK, well, a few did, but they were as weirdly attached to popular culture and television as a child as I was, so that was no big shocker. And they backed me up:
I'm Mister White Christmas
I'm Mister Snow
I'm Mister Icicle
I'm Mister Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser,
What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch
I'm too much!
He's Mister White Christmas
He's Mister Snow
He's Mister Icicle
He's Mister Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser,
What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch
He's too much!
I never want to know a day
That's over forty degrees
I'd rather have it thirty,
Twenty, then Five, then let it freeze!
(brrrrrrrrrrr!)
He's Mister White Christmas
He's Mister Snow
He's Mister Icicle
He's Mister Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser,
What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch,
Too much.
Too Much!
I'm Mister Green Christmas
I'm Mister Sun
I'm Mister Heat Blister
I'm Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!
He's Mister Green Christmas
He's Mister Sun
He's Mister Heat Blister
He's Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
He's too much!
Thank you!
I never want to know a day
That's under sixty degrees
I'd rather have it eighty,
Ninety, one hundred degrees!
(spoken)
Oh, some like it hot, but I like it
REALLY hot! Hee hee!
He's Mister Green Christmas
He's Mister Sun
Sing it!
He's Mister Heat Blister
He's Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I'm too much!
Too Much!
Can you believe that someone "our" age doesn't know what that's from?? Well, in case you're feeling a underpriveleged because I'm talking it up so much you think you've missed something really important, its from "The Year Without a Santa Claus", and its the song lyrics that Snow Miser and Heat Miser belt out ragtime when they're introducing themselves in the Rankin/Bass Christmas Special (1970). And if you don't know it, you have missed something important.
Just in case you don't know, Heat Miser is voiced by George Irving (who is remarkably still alive, still doing voice over, and still doing Heat Miser). And Snow Miser was Dick Shawn, who sadly isn't alive any more, but if you want to know what he really looked like, played Jack Tripper's Dad on that really bad spin-off of "Three's Company", "Three's a Crowd" (that's not even in Wikipedia, but I chose not to edit it in because it would make me too much like that "White and Nerdy" lyric - "I edit Wikipedia"). Its a good little story, about how everyone has become complacent about Christmas, and Santa says "Ah, the heck with it" and takes a year off. And then Ms. Claus takes over...which is the part that is most like real life...and makes a bunch of good things happen, including bringing ol' grumpy sick Santa back around. And Heat Miser lets it snow in Southtown, also a bonus.
That show changed my life. It got me more friends in college, because I had it on video (thanks, Mom), and anyone who'd not seen it came over and watched at my insistence. It's been a backbone of my sister and I's relationship (see, she's Snow Miser, I'm Heat Miser...no, really). We call each other when its on. Our kids say "there's Aunt ____" when one or the other comes on the screen. And its a good story, too. About not being so self-absorbed and realizing that sometimes what you do isn't about how it makes you feel, but how it makes someone else feel. If you can get a 7 year old to understand that, whoopeedeedo for you, 'cause it ain't easy. They just want to sing the song. And that's fine, 'cause I know all the words, and I learned them a long time ago, for just such an occasion, somewhere in my future.
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